Oy fucking vey. My child argued with his teacher (sped teacher...remember he refuses to go to school so he has his own deal going on) about how he shouldn't have to wear shoes throughout the school. He gets to just wear his socks in his classroom. He said, "But I'm a toe walker!" and "you just threw that on me!" Oh and he let her know that he doesn't like the way she treats him. Which makes me actually chuckle. Because it is so ridiculous. For the record, this woman is completely awesome and totally gets him and understands kids on the spectrum and that he is trying to gain some control in his world.
I was surprised that he had such a bad day because he had walked into the school by himself for the second time--yesterday being the first time--since I don't remember when...last fall maybe. I was actually in the office picking him up, gloating happily, telling the people in the office (who all know us so well by now) and the guidance counselor and the Sped liasion who all happened to come by. And then his teacher came to the door. Without M. And said that we needed to talk.
My boy should have been getting autism support since kindergarten. ABA therapy, the works. But he is so 'intriguing' and intelligent and witty and funny and interesting that his autism got overlooked. So now here he is in 5th grade, middle school in our town, starting from scratch with the supports. I cried. And when the Sped liasion asked what was wrong when she then saw me sad, M's teacher said I felt guilty. Guilty because of all the stuff that should have happened for M. years ago. No, I don't feel guilty. I feel angry. Angry because I searched and searched and no one helped me. So we kept trying to support and raise M. thinking we must be doing something all wrong. But in actuality, we were raising a child on the autism spectrum for 11 1/2 years and didn't even know it. I say we are fucking heros. I don't feel guilty. I'm mad. But I have to keep moving on and doing what he needs now. I can't help but look back even though everyone tells me I shouldn't.
So tomorrow his teacher is going to work with M on his 'stresses' and will use starburst as an incentive. And it will work because my child is on the autism spectrum and he loves starburst. Or it may not work at all and he will tell her that he is 'done with her'--he told her he was 'done with the TLC' (the classroom/program that he is in.)
It's all kind of funny. Because it's true.