Mondays: 60 minutes Strength class
30 minutes Step class
Tuesdays: 60 minutes Kickboxing
45 minutes Zumba (not my first choice, but it comes right after)
Wednesday: day of errands, school volunteering, body rest
Thursday: 60 minutes Cardio Drill class (mother freaking hard, constant hell sweat class)
45 minutes Circuit class
Friday: 60 minutes Pilates
45 minutes Punch & Crunch (a killer kickboxing/ab crunch class)
This equals 6 hours 45 minutes of exercise over 4 days. I try to do something active on the weekend since I can't get to class Saturday morning because Murphy has a skating class since he is going to be starting hockey (yay...he finally chose a sport he wants to play! and boo, it is the one with the biggest early morning, all weekend commitment and humongous financial cost.) Sunday mornings is Zumba at 8:00 am and there is no way I am giving up my one day to sleep beyond 7:00 am for that wacky class. Besides, once it snows, I will be on the slopes skiing or in some cases, walking down the mountain with Murphy when he decides he doesn't want to ski anymore...either way it's a workout...if we can ever get to the mountain between the kids' sports on the weekend.
I have literally sweated more in these classes than I ever have in my entire life. I feel fantastic, but I do also feel like the cute, jolly chubby girl in every class. The token overweight girl. I am the fattest woman in every class. And I am not that fat. But next to them, I look like giganto girl. I swear one woman's two thighs equal one of my calves. Everyone else is so fit and slim. Obviously they have been doing this for a long time. I take the classes very seriously and work hard to do the moves properly to get the most out of it. That said, the instructors really spend extra time with me...they know I want to do it correctly and that I am really motivated to get into shape. Sometimes I feel like others must think I am a fat dumb ass who just can't get it right. It makes me laugh. Others in the class aren't necessarily doing their kickboxing moves right, but the teachers don't spend as much time with them because they have not shown the same dedication that I have. Plus, they're skinny so who cares?
What is slightly annoying is when another person in class corrects me like I am the class mascot or something. "Hi everyone! I'm on my own biggest loser show and you all are my freaking trainers...if you see me doing something you don't like that the instructor hasn't noticed, please feel free to come over to me and physically move my arms on the weight bar to where you think I should be holding it. Great. Thanks...because really I love being showcased in class as the village idiot. It's not enough for me to point it out on my own."
I'm just tired here and feel a little rough around the edges. I am busting my ass and making myself vulnerable by showing these trainers that I need them to get on me and then to have another person in class who I do not know, who I have never even casually talked to, start to correct me in a sort of know it all way (not in a hey, just helping out way)...and then to not really show the kind of loss on the scale that I think I deserve kind of bugs me. Oh yeah, and then to learn that the woman in class who is totally fit and lost 90 pounds a few years ago had gastric bypass surgery was kind of a let down. I know she still had to do the work and has to maintain the weight loss, but it just didn't feel like the same thing I am doing. Granted, I only have 40 pounds to lose.
I just keep going to class and do my best. It hurts like hell, but I actually do think about those contestants on the Biggest Loser and think that if they can do it for 6 hours a day, I can hack 1 1/2 hours. I also tell myself, just one more, one more when my thighs are burning like hell from numerous squats and kicks.
One more. I can do that.