Thursday, December 31, 2009


Happy New Year!

We just completed our first decade as parents. Jack was born in January 2000. Hard to believe that it was ten whole years ago that I was sitting on my old big green couch in Jamaica Plain with a huge belly full of baby...a baby that was kicking like crazy. We had no idea what we were in for, but we were absolutely giddy with excitement.

What a wild ride it's been.


  1. Happy New Year to you and your sweet family!!! I know this year will be amazing for you and I can't wait to see it all unfold!!! I've missed you too and can't wait to catch up!!!!

  2. Happy New Year! I'm coming up on my 2nd decade as a parent. (1990 baby) and Oh boy! THAT was a ride, just as crazy as the first ten years!!
    Err, enjoy the next decade!!
    Melissa (formerly Ms. Flusterate)

  3. Hi...just poking my head in the door making sure you know I'm checking in and adore you!!!

  4. Oh how weird, Kiki, I actually left you a comment back here last night...and it is GONE!

    Kiki, thanks so much for always brightening my day. I adore you as well. Your timing was perfect as I was feeling low last night after a particularly difficult night with my youngest.

    Melissa, yay on you having a blog!!! I will keep tabs on you!

  5. Just hoping that you get these to your e mail and after reading your comment on Mrs.F's blog....I thought I'd check in and let you know I'm thinking of you and your sweet family!!!!

  6. I've never been over here, but also saw your comment on Mrs. F's blog and wanted to let you know I feel you completely. I read your other entry on Murphy, and I am feeling the exact same stuff with my youngest son, who was also recently diagnosed with ADD, and some other learning disabilities (since so many of these issues go hand in hand). Your description of your baby and all that you are enduring in loving him and hoping for his happy life sounds like a page out of my own diary. I don't have any solutions or answers, but you are not alone. There is nothing harder/more heartbreaking/sweeter than parenting a challenging child. Your guy is lucky to have parents investing in helping him find his way. Stay strong...

  7. Kiki-I emailed you:)

    Gigs, thanks so much for the support. It's sort of a relief now that he has been diagnosed...knowing that there is something real going on. You stay strong, too, Gigs. I am sure I will be posting more soon so check is good to know one is not alone in of this. It's easier to be more honest and upfront about feelings and everything going on on a blog than in 'real life'.

  8. A diagnosis is good in terms of figuring out the puzzle. It can let you move forward in helping him. My terrible secret is that I have some days when I wonder how our family would be if my son was different... would everything be so much easier? would we all be much happier? Don't get me wrong. He is so amazing at other times... so funny, and so creative, and really so loving and affectionate. And in terms of Mrs. F's "things could be worse", I know it could be worse, much worse. But it still feels hard. Anyway, I bookmarked your blog and will come back soon! Oh, and sorry if this is sort of TMI...

  9. Gigs,
    There is no TMI with me!
    My terrible secret is that I have some days when I wonder how our family would be if my son was different. My husband and I both wonder that, too. We really struggle with it. There are things we want to do and we say 'that's for other families.' My son is also like yours--funny, creative, etc, but his behavior is so disruptive in our home. I love him to pieces, but that said, I have spent many, many times crying about it all or half-jokingly wondering why we ever thought having kids (or more than one) was a good idea.

    Please know that you can say anything, feel anything and believe me, I won't think it is TMI or shocking or whatever. Plus, there are a couple of other moms out there in blogland that I am friends with, who totally get it, too.

    Of course, we love our children so much. But it is so hard. Also, I don't know your situation, but it is not something that other moms around here (at school pick up, etc) talk openly about...I mean their challenging parenting situations. But what's interesting is that you really don't know what's going on in other's lives. I go to a gym at which another mom from Murphy's school goes to. She is super nice...also, tall, beautiful, thin, lives in the wealthiest neighborhood in town. Her kids look perfect. I mentioned more in passing that Murphy had just gotten diagnosed as ADHD and let me tell you, the floodgates opened with this woman. Her older child sounds just like my son. She said they have been struggling with him and have had him tested numerous times. She and her husband are in therapy about the challenges in raising him. She had her son going, too, until he refused or would act out. Here I was thinking, this woman has got it all together, what a life, etc. In fact, she had just gone away to a ski place that we go to, with her kids and I was thinking about how nice it must be to do that with easier kids...well, boy was I wrong.

    I totally rambled. I hope you could follow me:)

    Speaking of skiiing, I am leaving this afternoon for an overnight stay & ski trip with my husband and BOTH kids. It was originally supposed to be me and my older son as a time for me to spend just with him since he is really acting out and feeling resentful about all the attention Murphy gets...but then Jack wants his little brother to go and surprisingly, Murphy wants to go to. So Tom and I are doing it...and I am sure we will suffer for it;) But you don't give up on your kids and the hope that things will be easier.

  10. Julie, You are amazing...what a gift you are to your family!!!

  11. It's interesting about the mom who you never suspected had any troubles. We have found that parents seem very protective of their situations and not very willing to share. As we struggle with the school system and getting our son help we have tried to get other parents to open up on how they managed to get through the red tape. It's like the school has paid them off to keep their mouths shut - weird! We also have the problem of our son being pretty smart. Which sounds good, but means as he compensates for all his short-comings pretty well, and he's actually not doing "poorly enough" in the school's eyes. No one seems to realize that he is working four times harder than the average kid just to (barely, in some cases) get by, and definitely not meeting his potential based on IQ. It is so frustrating for us. The amount of effort it takes him to sit and get through homework each night is heroic, and it's sad that it doesn't pay off for him. I have real worries about this as he gets older and the homework increases. Anyway... that's my rambling for today! Thanks for the venue to rant...

  12. Oh! Meant to also add that I hope the ski trip goes well. I know it is sweet when my boys want to spend time together too. I guess siblings are no different than parents, loving each other in spite of it all! Good luck!