We were driving home last night from Jack's concert from his music camp workshop. Murph was laying down in the back of the car (we have a minivan and he was in the way, way back...yes, I know he should be buckled in...part of where this coming conversation came out of). Jack was hammering him on how Murph was 'breaking the law' by not having a seatbelt on. It is a state law in MA. He told him he would be arrested. I said, "no, actually, I would be arrested as it is my responsibility to make sure he has his seatbelt on." Not that I think I would be arrested actually, I think I would get a ticket. We like to use scare tactics in our house though;).
So Murphy was just being silly and said to Jack that if the cop tried to arrest him, he would say something like 'I am sexually abused." First of all, what? Huh? wtf? Where on earth did he hear this term? PLUS, I am all like DON'T you ever say that to anyone...unless of course, you have been (which was just weird to be talking about as we were trying to drive home from a pleasant evening out, proud as hell of Jack...and a conversation that was not planned, etc).
Then I asked him if he knew what it meant to be sexually abused. I know that we as parents and the school do their thing about inappropriate 'touch' of private parts, but no one to my knowledge uses the term "sexual abuse" to young kids.
He starts laughing and says 'You know, like if someone was punching your balls!'
Tom nearly went off the road laughing. Of course that is what Murphy would think it means. Abusing one's 'sexual parts'. Abusing to him means hitting or beating up, etc.
It was such a weirdly cute 'kid' interpretation of something so awful.
Yeah, this is how crazy our life is.
OMG, UPDATE as of this very moment!!: Murphy just came in the kitchen to get a Mott's Ice bar--btw the absolute best thing ever and he eats TONS of them every day, but unfortunately they are hard to come by--and was singing "Can I touch your big, fat ass? Can I touch your big, fat ass?" (For the record, Jack would NEVER in a million years talk like that. It is not like this is how I am raising my kids. This is uniquely the Murph.) He then turns to me and says "What am I saying?" He wants me to repeat what he said. I bite because I am curious that way;). He then says, "Sure, you have my permission to touch my big, fat ass" and he bumps me with it. Oh help me;).
PS Tom just read this and told me I was over sharing. You can tell he does not actually read my blog if he thinks this is over sharing;).